by Carol Wise

Created on: May 25, 2010   Last Updated: May 26, 2010

Such statements that are so broad and general, are as I have learned through experience, usually false. As with any opinion an individual might develop, one can always find examples to support their theory and ignore the evidence that disputes their idea. I am a woman and I am unsure what men truly are drawn to in women. I have been trying to figure that out for years.

I was probably eleven when I first became aware of guys being attracted to females, I was a bit of a tom-boy and my friends were all guys. I was also overweight, and that colored my perception of things. My friends were not looking at me the same way they did the other girls. I didn’t understand why the girls wanted to wear make up and frilly dresses but I was jealous of the attention they got. Since I wasn’t seen in the same light as the other girls I often heard the comments made by the guys. Yes looks played a part of it, at least at first observation. That is hard to avoid since its what is first seen.

Years later, I saw where looks could actually end up working against a gal, when I was in high school, one of the most popular girls ended up crushed because she was dateless for some big event. Why? Because the guys all assumed she had already been asked, of course she didn’t realize this and felt there was something very wrong with herself.

I may not have been top on the list of girls to date, largely because of my size, but I did have one or two boyfriends in those rough high school years. I had my own theory as to why. I figured it was because the guy was just settling. No one could be attracted to me due to my looks, I was fat so I was therefore ugly, that was all there was to it. I never looked at the fact that we might have similar interests or that personality might play a part.

As I got older, I knew I didn’t get the same amount of attention, thinner girls got but I did still get attention on occasion, it became further ingrained in my mind that these guys were just settling. Oh, they might like my full lips, or bust line or maybe even the broadness of my hips but no way could they like or love me. They all wanted that image the media sells and I knew I fell short. Therefore they must be settling when it came to me. I, of course, longed to look like Twiggy and knew that I never would.

As most do, I suppose I picked myself a part and all I came up with were flaws. It didn’t help that I had been sexually abused as a child and saw men as being totally sexually

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