by Jay Morgetron

Created on: February 27, 2007   Last Updated: April 27, 2007

When I was 18 and freshly out of high school, enrolled in my first batch of college courses, I found out I was pregnant with my first child. She was definitely a surprise and many people in my life were very upset with me. As soon as the belly started bulging though, most everyone that mattered came around to be quite supportive.

People don't do it so much anymore now that my daughter's 11 and obviously has turned out to be an stellar little lady, but I used to feel judged constantly. I felt like people were always staring, waiting for me to screw up, waiting for a chance to give me advice, waiting for a chance to mold me as a parent.

I believe, for many people it was a moral issue - someone who "gets themselves knocked up" certainly can't be a responsible parent, right? (Ha!)

Funny thing is, many of the BEST parents I know are younger parents. I LOVE being a young mom. I think the key is doing what you FEEL is right and not worrying what others think. When your baby is conceived, a new instinct begins to grow in you as well. By the time the baby comes, that natural mothering instinct is born too.

After my first daughter was born, I can think of some distinct instances when people treated me poorly or like I didn't know what I was doing as a mother. To give you an example, I went into the doctor's office because my daughter had the sniffles and being the overprotective first-time mother I wanted to make sure she was okay. The receptionist, with a sneer on her face, in front of a crowded waiting room, said in a louder-than-necessary voice, "Will this be covered by welfare?"

Guess what?

I was insured!

However, I was so mortified that I couldn't speak. When I regained my composure, I handed her my insurance card. She took it without comment and made a copy. She made an assumption about me and never apologized, never corrected herself, and most likely convinced an entire waiting-room full of my neighbors that I was on welfare.

(Side note: There is *nothing* wrong with being on welfare, to help you get through hard times. That's what it's there for. I was lucky enough to have a mother with excellent insurance that covered my daughter and me. Had I NOT been on my mother's insurance, I most definitely would've been on welfare. However, no matter how we get our health care, it's no one's business!)

So, consequently, at times, I do go into new situations assuming that people are going to treat me that same way - whether they are or not - so I go in defensively. This doesn't do me any good though, so I'd advise you to assume the opposite.

Assume everyone is going to respect you the way they should and then if they DON'T, then you can deal with it. Just know that if you assume the best, many times that positive attitude will influence those you encounter.

Just know that Mama knows best - no matter what age you are.

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