by Elizabeth Menzies

Created on: May 25, 2010   Last Updated: May 26, 2010

St. Peter's Catholic Church in Lower Town, Harpers Ferry, West Virginia Built in 1833

When I got sober everyone around me advised me to "find a God of my own understanding." I never thought of God as an entity I had any creative control over. So the idea of "my own understanding"...created confusion. I like it simple. God to me was...and still is... everything...not a person...more a feeling...and sometimes a guiding light that directs me in what I like to call "G"ood "O"rderly "D"irection. (The Artists Way)

When I was a little girl attending Catholic school, we went to mass every day. I can remember looking at the Saints and Angels and a large painting on the ceiling of the church depicting a well built older white man in white robes,with a flock of long curly snow white hair and a beard. I began to imagine... as my knees got sore from what seemed like hours of kneeling..."who is God? What is God? And why do people think we need "him." Is he a "him" or an "it"? Why not a she...why only one...why not a variety? The only thing I have ever known for sure since the beginning of my "understanding" is that when I try to connect with my conscience, I get answers. Meditation is my tool. And when I wait and listen; I can feel this divine surge of energy that "reminds" me ...I am not alone....and I feel peace.

"Know God Know Peace"

"No God No Peace" ~ Anonymous

So do I "know God on a daily basis?" Well...yes and no. I sometimes "listen" better some days than others. I sometimes talk too much and refuse to listen. Sometimes other voices...other people are my muses and I ignore them too. And then I have an accident...like I trip...bump my head or (the ultimate wake up call) get literally hit in the head with bird poop! (works every time..I think Italians call this a "good" sign..ew!)

The universe will "bap" me until I listen and that "bapping" can turn into a shout. Cause baby is a slow learner some days. Yeah know what I mean?

God is a fun loving character. What is the saying? "If you want to make God laugh...make plans." I find that my insight toward God "dims" when I am tired...in resentment...or here is the big one...jealous. Lordy! When the "mean greens" hit I am blind,deaf and dumber than a short curb. I am like the "Incredible Hulk" when jealousy hits. And now that I am 50...well...and I don't really want to be 50...with a sagging face, a big butt and a loud mouth. I am working on self love,but it is not easy.

Yesterday I got back from a week long to trip to Washington

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