by Carmel Brulez

Created on: May 24, 2010   Last Updated: November 18, 2010

Those who do not use online dating as a way to find a partner, and probably never have and know very little about it,  tell us that only strange people, pervs and the desperate use it as a way to find a partner.

From my experience everyone who has told me that it is a sad use of one's time and can only lead to disappointment or problems has never used it or even gone onto one of the sites, so they really do not know what they are talking about.  

However, now that computers are common and most of us regularly visit websitesd and seach the net using online dating has become more normal and acceptable.  We spend a fair bit of our time sitting in front of a computer, or near one, so we might as well take advantage of whatever it has to offer.

When I became single and decided it was time to find another partner I signed up with various free dating sites. Smooch.com and Plentyoffish.com were two of them.  I would advise women to join such sites with caution. 

A majority of the men who use them only use them because they are free  and they are seeking casual flings, one night stands, instant meets at your  place and just sex and fun.  Quite a few of them are married or in a relationship, some try to hide it and others are blatant about it. 

If you own a business or have a good job you will want to date someone who is similar. To get a better class of person and someone who is taking it more seriously you need to join the sites where you pay to be a member and use the site.  Please do not complain about how much this costs.  The cost of using two very good sites works out at £250 a year.

You would easily spend this on things that are a lot less important and interesting.  If you end up with a soul mate it was well worth it and if you find a friend or two, have a few interesting conversations and learn a bit about men, it is still worth it.

What women have to be careful of when dating online is this...

*  Married men or men in relationships who pretend to be totally single.  These are usually the ones who refuse to put their photo  on the profile, are vague about their background and say they work very long hours and have a lot of business meetings and family obligations evenings and weekends. 

They usually say they do not have a landline phone at home and you have to ring them on their mobile, and if you ring them on their mobile in the evening or weekend....

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