by Kristin Schaaf

Created on: May 22, 2010   Last Updated: May 23, 2010

The ever-so-important and highly anticipated first date is just hours away. You’ve tried on at least four different outfits, rehearsed what you’re going to say the moment you open the door and thought through just about every “what-if” scenario.

In your anxiety, it is important to take heed to some very simple tricks of the trade to make sure your first date goes smoothly.

Laugh. The most important element of the date is to let yourself go and relax. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself and crack a few jokes. But don’t try too hard to be funny, or you’ll come across as fake (and not funny). Sense of humor is one of the top qualities a person looks for in a mate.

Dress to impress. Second to sense of humor, how you look is what is going to make the first impression on your date. However, don’t try a new haircut hours before your date; you never know what disaster might leave you going on the date wearing a baseball cap. 

Smell good. Using cologne, perfume or body spray is a great way to set the mood right. It will stimulate your date’s senses, and it will likely draw him or her in close for a better sniff. Be careful not to pour on half the bottle, though, or you’ll knock your date over when he or she walks in the door.

Listen. Try to stop and listen to what your date is saying instead of worrying about what you’ll say next. You’ll come across as more relaxed and comfortable instead of tense and nervous. And, the conversation will flow much more smoothly. You’ll be able to ask follow-up questions, like what kind of dogs are Fluffy and Daisy.

Think before you order. If you’re going out to dinner, think first before you order your food. Don’t get something like ribs that would require a bib or your date to help clean your face. And avoid foods that are overly spicy, otherwise you may spend too much of your date in the bathroom.

Avoid exes like the plague. The first date is not the time or place to air out dirty laundry. Stick to basic conversational getting-to-know-you topics, like family, hobbies and interests.

Don’t get ahead of yourself. While we’re on the subject of conversation topics, also avoid fantasizing and planning your life together. Pulling out your list of baby names would be an instant buzzkill. Your date may not return from the bathroom.

Flirt. Don’t be afraid to touch or caress your date’s arm, or lean in closer and speak quietly. It will let your date know that you are interested and keep him or her wanting more. If you’re on this date looking for a long-term relationship, consider the repercussions of too much physical intimacy on the first date. If in your flirting you feel a connection, chances are, your date does too. Let that excitement and anticipation carry into your second, third and fourth dates.

Have fun. Whether you’re having dinner, going bowling or watching a movie, let yourself enjoy it, even if the movie is bad. After the movie, laugh together about all of the lame parts. Laugh at yourself when you get a gutter ball. High five your date when he or she gets a strike. And enjoy getting to know who your date is as a person, even if you aren’t sure if he or she is “the one.”

Be yourself. Don’t try to impress your date by being someone that you aren’t. It will only get you so far. If you want your date to appreciate you for who you are, don’t be afraid to be honest. It goes a long way.

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