by Shaun Wing

Created on: May 21, 2010   Last Updated: December 04, 2010

The first international leader to greet the newly polished Prime Minister David Cameron was Hamid Karzai, the Afghan President. Who thought that he was a rogue assassin, who just looked like the President? Yea, thought so, though I'm sure that Clegg would've allowed a miniscule thought, is that truly Karzai? He looks shorter and scarier in real-life; attired in a robe, solemn head wrap and reeking of insect repellant. Barrack Obama was the first to call Cameron probably to arrange a basketball match, alas no British Prime Minister since a sprightly 1997 Tony Blair has graced the sports field. Blair infamous toe-poke towards the corner flag from the football penalty spot was blamed on a gust of wind. Not a 'Brownite' in-sight to blame in those debt free days.

The days of when Ed Balls was collecting the tea orders; David Miliband, was just about 'shaving his bunny fluff;' in shorts reading David Mellor's memoirs, (hence, the same length as 'Peter Rabbit's Adventures.') - Ed Miliband; was smearing 'Nutella Chocolate Sauce,' all over oneself (he was using the word 'oneself' even at pre-school!) - The analogy was that Marxist, Ralph his father, would gingerly pick up Ed and place him in the dog kennel where Red setters would salivate and lick the Nutella freak; little Ed clean. Marxist and Philosopher, Ralph Miliband was a big believer in spreading the workload, especially to those who salivated at the thought of it; of course, when the Miliband Brother's campaigned with the emerging political movement that we know of as 'New Labour.' Mandy could not resist, and tried it himself. It was so successful and there was borne an exciting pioneering movement that was to be named 'New Labour;' engineered by the trio: Mandelson, Blair and Brown. - It was to be the pivotal answer to 'Unemployment,' 'International relations' the 'Military,' and 'keeping the Tories away from number ten.'

*Sifting through the Whitehall cupboards that smell suspiciously of lit matches*

Unemployment was always going to be pretty low because New Labour 'moved the goal-posts.' Instead the benefit system toiled with vast number of sections that would give the impression that the dole figures would be seen as stable, also with mass immigration resting in the UK, jobs would always be taken. The foreign policy and International relations would depict the same rigmarole under the term 'Democratic process.' - By off loading Democratic rhetoric to other nations and implementing a verbal route-map,

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next Page >>