by Carmel Brulez

Created on: May 19, 2010

To have a successful relationship you need to stick to a proven workable formula.  Just as you need to stick to a recipe when baking a cake.  Each of us needs to alter that formula to suit our personality, needs, background and lifestyle,  but talking generally there are some things which we should all stick to if we are to be sure that we end up in a successful relationship.

Firstly, decide what sort of relationship you  want.  Is that marriage?   Living together?  Seeing each other a lot?   Casual?  Seeing several people?  OR something else?  Decide what suits  you, do not let whoever you meet decide and set the pace.  The worst thing you can do is leave this to change and let life and other people work out what your lifestyle will be.  That way you will end up with someone who dictates to you and will find it is normal for you to allow others to mould you rather than making your own decisions. Your lifestyle is probably the most important decision yo will ever make.

Secondly, decide what sort of person you want and make this realistic.  If you are very old, fat and ugly do not expect to interest someone who is beautiful, young and sexy.   If you are successful in business and own your own busines and a lovely big house then it would be wise for you to decide to stay away from people who are too lazy to work,  who have no money or property or who are not clever enough to do what you have accomplished. This is not just about money but the fact that their intentions are less than honourable if they are seeking someone to sponge off of,  also they would not offer you the intelligent conversation you need and can get elsewhere.

Once you have decided what sort of person you want then go about finding them in a way that will lead to success.  If you want to find someone very extrovert, loud, flamboyant, noisy, talkative and sociable you are unlikely to find them in a library.  Likewise if you want to find someone who is quiet, shy and timid it is unlikely they go to bars, clubs and parties!

Make sure that dating does not interfere in the rest of your life.  If you run a business or work make sure you balance things. Do not start taking a lot of time off of work to spend with people socially, especially if this might mean you get the sack or do not earn so much and need the money.  Balance this new social life with the life you already have by not neglecting family and friends, as these people have stood you in good stead for many years and will be with you in many years time, this new date might be a flash in the pan and come to nothing at all.  Dates are expendable but good friends that have proven themselves and have no ulterior motives are priceless.

Once you have got your relationship make sure that you use communication to discuss anything either of you is unhappy or unsure about.  That you have common goals that you work towards together. This may be things like having a baby or saving for a holiday. Be caring towards each other and make sure you are not selfish with them.   Never take them for granted or use them.  Always be aware that if you mistreat them now they may not be around in the future.

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