by Elaine Arthur

Created on: May 18, 2010   Last Updated: May 19, 2010

Despite popular literature such as Arthur Golden’s novel Memoirs of a Geisha, the misconception persists outside of Japan as to the function of a geisha.  I recently found myself explaining to a co-worker how a geisha differs from a prostitute.

Let us suppose that you are throwing an important party (your parents’ golden wedding anniversary, for example), and would like to make it extra special by having a famous celebrity attend.  You know it will cost some money, but you can afford it, and it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event.

You decide to invite your parents’ favorite singer from the 1950s, Dina Valenti.  Dina has experienced a resurgence in popularity because she recently hosted Saturday Night Live. 

So, you track down Dina’s manager, and say “We would be honored to have Ms. Valenti appear at my parents’ anniversary party on September 1st.” 

The manager says, “Well, Ms. Valenti is normally booked solid two years in advance, but she just happens to have an hour free that afternoon.  For Ms. Valenti’s one-hour appearance, the fee is $5,000.”  This is just what you will pay to have Dina walk in the door.

“Do you want her to sing her signature hit, ‘Springtime in Roma?’  If so, that’s an extra thousand dollars.  She might also be willing to sing one more song, in which case, that’s an extra thousand.  Of course, her band will come with her.  That’s a thousand dollars per member.”

“If your guests want to be photographed with Ms. Valenti and receive autographs, that will be another thousand.”

You agree to all of this.  Not specified is the fact that Ms. Valenti will:

Be glamorously dressed and groomed, so that everyone knows a true celebrity is in their midst. Be gracious and friendly, make everyone feel that they are her best friend.  She will circulate among the guests, make conversation, tell funny stories and flirt a little with Dad. Dance with some of the guests.

She will not serve food, though she might refill someone’s drink, just to show how nice and polite she is.  She will leave promptly after an hour, waving, smiling and throwing kisses, leaving all her guests with a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Anyone can do these things, really.  You could invite a lady from your church for far less money, but Dina Valenti at your party will have people talking about it

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