by Todd Daigneault

Created on: May 18, 2010   Last Updated: May 19, 2010

Although the world looks so beautiful when you are first married: the colors and sounds seem enhanced.  You are deeply in love and your heart and souls seem so merged together that you are one; being part of the most fantastic universal symphony ever conducted.  You and your partner rise into the heavens aboard these beautiful notes into a ream and reality where nobody else is allowed.  It is a world that belongs solely to the both of you.  But sooner or later, reality brings you and your partner back to this universal plane of existence.  Problems always arise, and although you think your partner and you will have many years of wedded bliss-problems and issues arise.

Therefore, a good first tip is in realizing that things are going to happen.  One day, the endorphins are going to ebb and maybe it will start with tiny issues, such as toenail clippings in the bed, eventually progressing to other situations.  Understand that you and your partner are going to experience bumps along the road of marriage.  Neither one of you would be human without these problems.  Interpreting, understanding, realizing and solving them helps to lay the foundation for a long lasting marriage.  Don't be afraid, or live in denial that situations are going to arise.  This doesn't mean the end of your marriage.  Expect them and grow along with them, as your marriage progresses.  You wouldn't be human beings without dealing with situations, issues and problems.

Additionally, don't be afraid to raise your objections to things that may come up in the beginning.  Being so deeply in love, you may feel that you will hurt your partner's feelings.  After all, don't they look so cute cuddled in a ball under the blankets, your arm around them.  Repressing your feelings is not healthy to you and your marriage.  Speak when you have to; fight when you need to.  The airing of differences helps to resolve whatever does come up over the years to come.  Talking things out are important.  This doesn't necessarily mean slamming your fist against the wall, shouting, or telling your partner that you shouldn't have married him/her in the first place-although it certainly happens.  Speak, listen, be heard-the trademarks of a good marriage-which is essentially a contracted romantic partnership.

Expect that there will be days that you may not want to even smell your partner's breath.  After all, you can't stay in the bedroom, 24/7.  Although you love your partner, too much togetherness, too much kissing and sex can actually be counterproductive, smothering and suffocating your marital union.  In time, the relationship will, of course, morph or change.  Work, family, friends and eventually kids slow you down a bit in the bedroom.  This doesn't mean that you will love your partner less.  You may love them more, and don't have to overcompensate with gratuitous displays of love, which can hide cracks and other significant problems in a marriage.

Know that you will need your space from time to time from your partner.  Having them constantly around you only hurts your marriage in time.  But also know that in your heart, you will fly into each other's arms if enough time has elapsed.  Understand that you are in a partnership-that has set parameters, boundaries and guidelines-like any other.  However, also know that you will have a richly beautiful marriage.  Enjoy it and be happy!

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