by Priscilla Benfield

Created on: May 17, 2010   Last Updated: May 18, 2010

People have affairs because they are not getting everything that they need from their relationship. It is a dishonest way to act but for whatever reason, people cheat on each other. There is no good "excuse" for why people have affairs, it always hurts someones feelings and the person having the affair doesn't seem to see the consequences of their actions when they enter into it.

Affairs can sometimes be about the adventure and forbidden nature of having sex with someone that you are not married to. A person who has an affair may think that they can hide the fact that they are having an affair but often they show signs of cheating that an observant partner may recognize.

Movies may glamorize the sneaking around and meeting in hotel rooms but the reality is that the excitement of it always leads to disaster. Inevitably, people who have affairs get caught.

Some may enter into an affair with a co-worker after spending a lot of time together. Drinks after work may turn into an affair because of the fact that you are spending more time with this co-worker than you are with your partner.

There usually is trouble in your relationship if you are able to be tempted into cheating. Having drinks after work with a co-worker doesn't have to lead to an affair but if you have neglected dealing with trouble at home, finding a co-worker attractive enough to have sex with can happen.

Even people who consider themselves to be moral can have an affair. Avoiding dealing with their own relationship problems, they look to having an affair as an escape from reality. It is an escape that causes more problems that creating solutions to their issues.

Affairs complicate the troubles that they are already having and can end a relationship that may just be going through a rough period.

People who continually have affairs and blame it on a sex addiction are not owning up to their own weaknesses. Saying that you have a sex addiction makes it sound like you have no control over choosing to have an affair. I believe that there always is a choice.

When you cannot stay commited to one person, you either are not ready for that kind of relationship or the person is not the right choice for you. Once you have chosen to be in an exclusive relationship, having an affair is just wrong.

If the relationship starts to go sour, one should chose to work on it or end it. Adding a third person into the equation causes pain and misery. It is difficult for a person to forgive an affair or to forget that it happened.

There are some people who are more prone to having an affair. Maybe some partners can even accept that kind of behavior. It is hard for me to comprehend acceptance of a partner who has affairs. It makes for a different kind of relationship where there is no trust or honesty. In my mind, a committed relationship is based on trust and honesty.

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