by Heidi Peaster

Created on: May 14, 2010   Last Updated: May 15, 2010

When our adopted son was first diagnosed with autism at the age of four, he was said to be moderately to severely affected.  However, by the time he hit middle school age, they had softened his diagnosis to Asperger’s syndrome.  By that time, of course, the diagnosis really didn’t matter; we were in the throes of the beginning of his adolescence and most of hell was breaking loose.

Here are some things we have learned.

*We had to learn to seek help when we needed it.  Of course he was visiting his pediatrician regularly, but we also needed the support of a psychiatrist when it was finally to the point that he needed medication.  He was depressed, had some hyperactivity and impulse control.  Physiological counseling  was also necessary to help him over the bumps in the road of middle and high school.

Our pride got in the way for awhile, thinking that of course we could handle this.  Our mistrust of the drugs got in the way for awhile.  Both were small trade for our son’s improvement.  We kept proactive, of course, and by the time he was seventeen, he was off everything but a very low dose antidepressant.

*Asperger’s kids see the world a different way and really think that they are always right.  This makes for some interesting scenarios.  Our son reads faces very well….something that his initial diagnosis said he would have trouble with….so he always knew when he was in trouble, but he really just didn’t care.

You will need to find your child’s currency.  Your Asperger’s child, just like any other child, has things that he loves dearly.  You will need to figure out the give and take of reward and withdrawing that thing that he loves to modify his behaviors.

*Asperger’s kids are usually socially inept.  They often do not catch the nuances of body language, or see the necessity of being “like the other kids”.  A certain amount of this is a good thing, of course, but it quickly can get out of hand. 

Our son did not understand personal space.  He was very tactile and loved girls’ hair, soft squooshy stomachs….no matter what the age of the person!....and ladies’ fingers. 

You will need to get very, very firm.  You may need to enlist other people whom your child likes to be very, very firm, too.  You will need to be very consistent with consequences for his infringements, no

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