by Ganelle Davis

Created on: May 14, 2010   Last Updated: May 15, 2010

Every time you buy your a child an expensive gift to show them that you love them, you are spoiling that child and setting them up for a life of entitlement issues. Love is an unconditional act toward your children. What do you think could happen if you were no longer able to afford expensive gifts for your child?  The child may then feel unloved, because he or she is no longer receiving those expensive gifts. 

Gifts should never be given to a child because you feel guilty about your inadequacies or shortcomings as a parent. Don't do it. Yes, parents should prioritize their time to spend with their child. During these difficult down times, it is not easy to have time to spend with your child if you are one of the blessed ones, to even have a job, with over-time.

A parent should not equate, expensive gifts with love for their children. There are many creative ways to show them you love them. Plant a garden with your child. Confess your love to them, each day with a big hug. Tell them you are proud of them.

Unknowingly, you are setting up your child for a life of disappointment.  Yes, it is true, later in life, the child may get rewarded for their hard work. The difference here is an exchange for the money, for their hard work.  Do you want your children to believe love should be exchanged for money?The oldest profession in the world acts on this very principle.

The terrible two's are full of temper tantrums and a bad case of, "I want."  This is the time you must instill in the child, they will not always get what they want. Sure, the idea of not being able to give your child what they want pulls at the heart strings of most parents.

However, at even this young age, they are learning manipulation tactics. Folding their little arms and crying seem to break down their parents to buy whatever their little darling wants. No parent wants to see their child without what the other kids seem to have.

A good rule to follow when other parents seem to indulge their children a little too much is allowing your children to witness children less fortunate than they are by seeing children that don't have the basics, like food, shelter and second hand clothing, yet are exposed to the love of their parents who are doing their best to take care of them. This is an eye opening experience for both the parents and the child.

An embarrassment of riches or indulging a child who already has too much.  Falling into this pattern is easy to do, if both parents are working and able to pay the bills. Teaching your children to save up their birthday money or allowance for expensive gifts for themselves is a two fold dynamic.  You want them to understand that old adage, "money does not grow on trees."  Take them to a park to pick some money off those lovely trees, if they can find any.

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