by Krissi Lyn Mazon

Created on: May 13, 2010   Last Updated: May 15, 2010

If both parents need to draw income to maintain a suitable level of living, it IS okay.  While the parent may not have a quantity of time at home with their child, they can focus on the quality of the time they are left with.   If income is not an issue for the family, either parent can take great joy in being at home when their child takes their first step or says their first word.  Both arrangements have pros and cons; the individual family will have to make their choice based on the needs of the family as a whole and on the needs of each individual in the whole.

~ Working Outside the Home:

Parents who work, especially mothers, are often faced with guilt.  It does not matter if working is a choice or a necessity of circumstances.  Men tend to feel less guilty about "doing what they have to", but some find it just as hard and often deal with it by detaching from the children or the family altogether.  It is vital that their spouse be aware of this coping mechanism and sidestep it properly from the beginning or as early as possible.  Women tend to take a long time to begin to deal with these feelings as we tend to simply  "feel".  Women experience the feeling more than deal with it, which can cause depression and even anger directed at their spouse, co-workers, or themselves.  Again, the spouse must be alert for the subtle signs before they become not so subtle.

Another issue of concern for working parents is the common pitfall of over compensation.  This is linked to the guilt and will vary on each person, male or female.  Since we've become a primarily two-income society, over compensation has become quite a problem across the nation.  Buying children the best toy, mugging other parents at Wal- Mart over said toy, allowing children to have more freedom than you really feel comfortable with, and any other way of "spoiling" your child is a form of over compensation.  Unfortunately, it never seems to have the parents' desired result.  The children are no often grateful or satisfied with the material trade- off.  This usually builds resentment over the long- term and can lead to other social problems for your child from childhood well until adulthood.

There are good points to working outside of the home.  First, it is easier to set up and maintain a routine because of the structure of a work or school schedule.  Children raised with this type of structure tend

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