by amy perry

Created on: May 11, 2010

Getting out of an abusive relationship was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It is important that you have the right support available in helping you to move on with your life and to empower your decision to leave. You may have left many times before only to be pulled back into the situation through out of feeling insecure or threatened by the other person to go back. You may feel terrified of being on your own having been worn down by the other person time and time again. You may feel like you can’t be bothered with the hassle of leaving and hope that things will get better but they very rarely do, they only get worse.

I had reached the end of my tether when I decided to leave for the last time. My partner was very emotionally controlling and sometimes I would be so frightened of what he would do to me that I thought that my head might explode with all the worry. I was staying with him at the time but had recently started renting my own house close by. One day I decided enough was enough and took our child to my new house and told him I wasn’t coming back. He went mad and kept coming to my house threatening to kill me. I couldn’t sleep properly and had to ring the police on average five times a day as he was threatening me and wouldn’t leave my garden. My sister started staying with me in the nights and the situation gradually improved. If it wasn’t for the support of my sister I think i would have gone back out of fear. I also became involved with women’s aid who were a godsend. I was a bit cynical about the organisation at first as I didn’t like to admit that I was a vulnerable person in need of help but they were so supportive. It can be very hard to accept help and keep your dignity but women’s aid gave me the strength to stay away and build a new life.

The whole thing trailed on for two years as he decided to drag me through court to try and see our son when he had no interest at all. However my life is now better than ever and I am so glad I made the break away from that horrible situation. It did take me a while to start trusting men again but now I feel much better about myself I feel fully ready to move on and hopefully find the ‘one’.

I know that many people are in a similar situation and my advice to them is just leave and stay strong. If I can get through this anyone can.

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