by Candace Williams

Created on: May 11, 2010   Last Updated: May 12, 2010

Getting rid of the negatives of sibling rivalry and keeping the positives of it. That is the way to deal with it. It's much like growing a garden. As the children grow you pull out the weeds and feed the good qualities. When the rivalry is negative, destructive you must try to calm things down a bit and steer it in a more positive direction.

Some sibling rivalry can be perfectly fine. Pep talk you can give When I am gone you will still have each other. Your relationship with your brother or sister is one which may be longer lasting than the one with with your parents. Have you ever thought of that?

That is one of the reasons why being a part of a family is so good. It's not automatically that way though. It only will be that way if you both choose to be not just family members but friends. Love is hard work. It's important work though. Don't forget to keep working at it.

Tell them good things about each other You can build good feelings between your children by telling them good things about each. This is especially true when they are not together. Tell child #1 that you are really pretty impressed with Child #2 being so determined to finish things even when it gets difficult to finish.

Then tell child #2 that you are really impressed with child #1 being so kindhearted. The qualities of course will be whatever you see but the idea is that you will build good attitudes towards each other by spreading good rumors between them. Be diligent to point out good things about all your children to all your children.

Encourage them to do good things to and for each other Send them to each other to help when help is needed. It might be easier to do it yourself but it will pay off in the long run to train them to help each other. This might be as simple as having the older brother go get a diaper for the baby.

When they are older it might be to ask the younger sibling to make a sandwich for the older one. It might mean asking the older one to call,text or Face book the younger one who needs some cheering up.

Build that bond by letting them help each other instead of doing it all yourself. When one hurts the other butt in Tell the aggressor to apologize. Then teach the hurt one to accept the apology. If you do this when they are children. They will be able to get through conflicts as teens and as adults.

Help them to see the other point of view Some rivalry is the result of not thinking of it from the other person's point of view. Some hurts go away if you can think of it

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>