by Maria Papadopoulou

Created on: May 11, 2010   Last Updated: May 12, 2010

Α romantic relationship can begin like a fairytale and end like a nightmare. Unfortunately, while a relationship can start with the best of intentions, somewhere along the way, things may change. The marriage can be damaged to such an extent, that the divorce may be near. Is there a way to save the relationship at that point?

Saving a marriage through near-divorce

1. Good times versus bad times

Think about the good times and the bad times in your marriage.If good times outweigh the bad, either in quantity, (or even more importantly in quality), then maybe saving your marriage is worthwhile. Try to focus on those times to rebuild your marriage. Whenever bad memories kick in, try to push them away by focusing on the good memories. Think of the things that bond you, not the things that separate you.

2. Misunderstandings need to be clarified

Often enough, things take a bad turn because several misunderstandings are left unclarified. Have an honest discussion with your spouse and set the record straight on everything that bothers you. While this is going to be painful, it is also going to be liberating. The air will finally clear and you will both know where exactly you stand. If what you believed it was true is proven to be false, you will be given the chance to start over again. On the other hand, if what you believed it was true is confirmed, then at least you will be able to finally accept it, deal with it and move on.

3.Think of what this marriage means to you

Think of what exactly this marriage means to you.Is this relationship important to your well-being, or is it mainly habit and fear of moving on that holds you together? If you and your spouse stay together because you are too used to each other's presence (much like you are used to the presence of a furniture), but no longer appreciate or respect each other and do not even remember where it was the last time the two of you had fun together, then maybe it is best to call it quits. Otherwise, you will end up resenting each other and then the divorce will be even more painful.

4. Give each other some emotional space

Take some time to think things through. Instead of trying to force your opinions on each other and make each other feel guilty, try to give each other some much needed emotional space, so as to reach to the right conclusions. There is no specific time frame for this, each person is different, and therefore needs different amount of time to process things.

Before resorting to divorce, you need to be absolutely sure that this is the right thing to do. Follow the above tips and find out if there is something to be saved, or if that relationship has run its course. If there is the slightest chance for that marriage to be saved, you need to know and make the most of it.

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