by Ann Stewart Porter

Created on: May 09, 2010   Last Updated: May 13, 2010

The black lab came running as Gary yelled " come here, Tonya, come here girl".  Just as he said her name, we heard a crash. Right above our heads, a huge black crow had shattered their window. My husband and I looked at each other shivering.  It had been a raw, glass cutting  heart, kind of week. The dark clouds were descending as the chill hung still.

Tonya was the name of our young sister in law, who had been murdered a few weeks earlier.  It had only been days since we received the call that her body had been found, in a bag, in a woods a thousand miles away. We were still in disbelief. The name, the crash, the dark and the chill created a fear I had never known. If that wasn't enough, we all knew the killer. We also knew I was among his enemies for having defended his wife. This is what haunted me, heightening my fear . We were missionaries, sharing our work across America. We had arrived at another house of saints addicted to hospitality. They showed us to the lovely room they had recently painted and decorated for us. Unfortunately, sleep was just a place where I met the monsters. I had never been one given to fear much of anything, but now, my mind was filled with scenarios of how this man might kill me. A few days of that and I was fast becoming a sidetracked, demobilized little girl in the dark of life.

Yes, the fear was real, too real. Yes, it was a possibility.  It just wasn't something to grow in and it was not something I could share with my abundant life. In my quiet time, I was lead to I john 4:18 " ...perfect love casts out fear because fear has torment..." ( Who says God's Word isn't relevant?!) I  began to claim these words out loud, all day long, all night long, hundreds  of times. Perfect love casts out fear. Over and over and over again, until I felt my spirit begin to feed off of them, instead of my fear. . As I recall, it took me about two weeks straight to gain control over that battle, but I came to a place where I remain today. I have no fear, not of this man or of any harm.

Faith, as the old sweet song goes, is just believing that what God says, He will do. Faith is active, a privilege to embrace, a reality show sponsored by the Author and  Finisher of my faith. I hardly believe I am in God's advanced class of faith..if anything, I am a slow learner, a late bloomer and a teacher's nightmare, but I desire to please God. I know He says faith pleases Him, so I will keep showing

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• Next Page >>