by Dandelion Doolittle

Created on: May 09, 2010

It is rewarding to see an elderly couple that has been together for many years.  Are they still lovers as well as companions and friends?  I believe all three relationships differ to some degree.  In a relationship, I believe you need to be everything to last for a lifetime.  There are different types of friendships and they do not always involve doing things together.  Companions usually serve a purpose to one another.  And a lover isn’t always a companion.  With a companion, you have someone to do things with, to go places with.  Whereas, lovers are drawn together by animal instinct and they don’t always share a relationship outside of the bedroom.

We all need human connection; regardless of what role we play.  But a companion is someone you are comfortable with and share a mutual admiration and interests.  It is two people whom, I believe, have one of the best relationships you can ask for.  And companionship can be between any two types of personalities or people.

During my life I have had many lovers who were friends, but not necessarily my companion.  I can remember when Michael and I first met.  We had a sexual attraction and that is why we started living together.  It was only after a few months when he said, “Do you want to live together?  It would be better than commuting.”  He lived in the local mountains and I lived in Los Angeles.  It took time to establish our relationship.  After a couple of years, we became the best of friends.  Then after five years of living together on and off, we became great companions.  We were very comfortable together.  We shared mutual interests.  We shared expenses rather than him carrying the burden.  We traveled together and seemed to get along better than we ever had.  Eventually we went our separate ways.  Today we are still best friends but no longer companions.  

I am middle-aged now and would like to find a companion.  Of course I am always on the lookout for a lover.  Who doesn’t enjoy sex?  I would rather have a companion who is my lover.  I want someone who can spend the time with me to socialize.  I don’t want just the sex.  I want someone who cares about my well being, to share memories with and to do things with.

There are many people who marry for companionship.  I look around and I think a lot of elderly people are looking for companionship in their later years.  The sexual attraction is usually not an issue.  They want a companion to do things with.  They want to fill that void of loneliness.  I don’t think there is anything sadder than loneliness.

I have been housebound and unable to meet new people to find a companion.  I don’t have many friends, but I am always available if someone wants to extend their friendship.  Two is always better than one.  And as they say, “One is the loneliest number,” and I find that to be true.

Learn more about this author, Dandelion Doolittle.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.