by Lucius Trae

Created on: May 08, 2010   Last Updated: May 09, 2010

When it comes to premarital sex, the debate often falls on religious lines. Different interpretations of what is appropriate vary between people. I'm not a theologian so I'll stick to the issue from a secular perspective. What arguments against premarital sex could convince someone of any background? Personally, I haven't encountered any.

Many people choose to have premarital sex, and they have their own reasons for that choice. In my opinion, a lot of people engaging in sex aren't being responsible about their choices. There are many people struggling economically who can't afford another child.

If an unwed couple has sex, we lecture them on the dangers of children they can't support. If safe sex isn't enough, we might ask a lot of adults to refrain from sexual activity. After all, some people think it's only for procreation.

There is no guarantee a couple will stay together once married. If religion is left out, virginity isn't as serious a topic. You'll have a powerful experience and release hormones in ways you haven't in the past. You'll also do that, to a lesser extent, when you try your first slice of delicious cake, blueberry pie, or whatever dessert you fancy.

Life is about experiences, and you shouldn't do something you aren't comfortable with simply to satisfy others. So virginity can be something to keep, but it doesn't mean you are obligated to do so.

In cases of sexual abuse, the victim is as valuable a human being as anyone else. Some claim that virginity does not leave a person in these situations. I'd agree, but this means losing virginity is more than sex. It may require an emotional connection between the two people, perhaps.

Either way, it's time we started being realistic about things. Most people have sex because it's fun, and they don't want to wait until marriage. Sex is part of marriage. If they don't know if sexual chemistry exists, how can they expect things to work long-term? And these days, people have psychological and physical issues.

In my opinion, someone suppressing their homosexuality would be inclined to waiting until after marriage. It avoids something they have no interest in doing. Or someone is led to believe their first time will solve everything in their life and the world around them. It won't.

There are a lot of problems in society, but premarital sex isn't hurting anyone because it's premarital. Premarital sex is hurting people believe young people aren't being safe or are caving to peer pressure.

It's hurting people because the media makes people think they want something they aren't ready for. The problem isn't premarital sex. It's a variety of things in society.

Of course, I don't intend to claim sex is improper or that there is a specific age where suddenly it's acceptable. I am not qualified to judge the situation of every person. I just know when women and men are pressured to have sex by culture and the media, and pressured not to have sex by parents, they are doomed to feel like a disappointment.

We need to change how we thing about sex and accept that we don't live under ideal circumstances. Premarital sex isn't the issue. Imagine a married couple has sex for ten years. Suddenly, they discover they aren't legally married, and their priest wasn't a priest at all. I think it's a bit outrageous to claim they have been doing something wrong the entire time.

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