by Rita McQuillan

Created on: May 06, 2010

Reaching for the Stars

Parenting is one of the most challenging jobs a person will ever do. It has been done for the duration of mankind. Having a healthy happy child is the desire of all parents. Children grow up to be, at least in some ways like their parents, even if they are adopted. The parents grow immensely during this whole process too. Hence, parents can show children, by example, how to be happy.

Remember all of the thoughts you had when you brought your new bundle home. The hopes and dreams of where this child would go and what they would become.

The reality is many parents get frustrated because they have a difficult time balancing between their jobs, their partner and their children. As a result, children react with behavior often leading to unhappiness, frustration and self doubt. If you want thankful kids, be thankful for all the things you have. Encourage helpfulness so that the whole family is working together.

I tell my boys they are the best little boys in the world . I also thank them and tell them I need them when they do things like telling me when the light turns green etc. I even go on to say where would I be without you, boy I sure do need you all the time. They feel so special and secure. I am not sure this will continue to work when they are teenagers though.

Making a child happy by giving in to their every demand does not lead to long term happiness. Short term gain leads to long term pain. We need to look further within ourselves to find happiness and encourage our children to do the same. Learn ways to manage your emotions. If you are unable to do this, do not be surprised when your children are unable to manage their emotions. Lead by example. A saying is “When mom is not happy no one is happy”. Can you imagine what the household is like if mom is never happy? Of course, being a happy parent is part of good parenting.

Find your happiness and set a path towards it. Happiness is a choice, choose happiness and your children will do the same.

The following poem explains many of the things children learn by observation:

If a Child If a child lives with criticism,

he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,

he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule,

he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame,

he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,

he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement,

he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise,

he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness,

he learns justice. I

f a child lives with security,

he learns to have faith. I

f a child lives with approval,

he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,

he learns to find love in the world

By Amanda Cater

Although the poem does not mention the word happy I would like to add that if a child lives with happiness, he learns to be content.

Happy children also learn better. As a teacher, when a child is anxious about their home situation learning is radically reduced. They become so distracted it is like talking to a wall. Happy children are much more receptive.

A mother has a lot of influence on this world by how she shapes her children. If we can raise happy children one at a time, the world will be a happier place.

I can tell my children to reach for the stars, but better than that I reach for the stars myself and watch them learn to choose their own happiness by reaching for the stars too. The rewards I see, as a result of choosing happiness, are so worth the effort, for all of us.

Learn more about this author, Rita McQuillan.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.