by Suzy kew

Created on: May 05, 2010   Last Updated: May 07, 2010

Being married to a workaholic is sure to cause problems in your marriage.  It is often the husband who is the workaholic.  He was probably raised to believe that it is his responsibility be the provider for his family.  This can often be the case.  Even still, in this generation, it is commonly the men who take home the bigger paycheck.  Especially if the wife has chosen to work less and spend her time taking care of the home and the children.  That does not mean that her responsibilities should be any less valued than the husbands, however. 

When a husband is solely focused on his career, it leaves the wife to take on his role as father as well as her own as the mother.  Children notice this and do get affected.  They will start to make comments like, "well, Dad is never here anyway".  Or, "Dad is always too busy to help me" and they go to the mother and give up on the father altogether.  Although he thinks he is providing, what he really is doing is taking away from the family.  Children need their fathers as much as they need their mothers.

The wife is probably the one most affected.  She becomes lonely and quite often, when her husband does talk to her, he is so busy thinking about work that she may as well talk to the wall.  So what do you think happens next?  She stops trying to talk to him altogether.  She finds other people to listen to her.  If she doesn't have a lot of friends, which sometimes happens because she is so busy keeping up to her childrens' needs and keeping the household operating, she finds herself very lonely.  This can be extremely risky if she happens to meet another man who is willing to listen to her. 

Trust can become another issue.  All those late night business meetings and dinners and lunches the husband might be attending might make the wife wonder who he is sharing his meals with.  If she and he are no longer finding the time bond neither just by talking or especially if things are not what they should be in the bedroom, she might become suspicious of him having an affair.  This can destroy a marriage.  If there is no foundation in the marriage to begin with all these stressors can create major problems.

The wife needs to express her concerns to her husband.  Suggesting he starts devoting at least some time to his family.  He might be able to find a job closer to home or at least less demanding.  This can save the marriage.  Even if the wife has to take on a part time job to make up for income loss, the value of having her husband more involved in the family is worth the sacrifice.

If the husband refuses to comply, counselling might be another option.  Hopefully a counsellor can make him see the damage being done and find a resolution. 

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