by Danielle Santacroce

Created on: May 04, 2010   Last Updated: May 05, 2010

We scroll our crushes' names on our notebooks growing up; we practice our signature with different last names to “test them out,” and as young girls we like boys in part because their last names sound good with ours even though we are decades from donning the white dress and walking down the aisle.  In general, changing our last name to our husband's is ingrained in us from our earliest memory and is a valuable cultural tradition that should continue.

This an important decision for a woman to make, but for most of us it is something we do not give a second thought, especially if we have been raised with an unfortunate surname which garners unflattering nicknames.  Granted, this is not the only reason why a woman should change her name, but it came be an important if not overlooked piece of the decision.

Changing your name goes hand in hand with understanding that getting married means that you are beginning a new chapter in your life and in some small part taking a step from who you used to be as an solo act.  This doesn't mean that you need to lose your individuality, but you are taking on the responsibility of being part of pair, sharing responsibilities, sorrows, joys, bills and a name.  If you are going to be united with another person on every other level, what more is it to take the next step and change your name? 

Yes, it can be annoying to change all of your bills, driver’s license, and bank accounts but its not difficult by any means and there is something nice when you start getting mail with both your names..  This may even provoke the same feeling you got when you heard your name announced at your reception as Mr. & Mrs. Your life from this point forward is a collaboration and consolidating your life under one name does aid to making it official. The process have even made easier to change your social security card!

On another level, traditionally taking of the son's name is a sign of respect to the groom's family.  You are becoming part of their family, and they are accepting you into their family just as much as you accepted the proposal.  Taking the family name solidifies that you are one of them now and it is a gesture that says “I love your son, I love your family and am willing to change my name because I understand I am part of your family now.”  Of course, you do not have to forget your family or disown yourself from those that raised you but it is a wonderful way of starting off on the right foot with the in-laws.

As for the hyphening argument, sometimes it is not always practical to hyphen your names, whether it be too long, not sound good together and if you would change your paperwork to reflect a hyphened name, why not just take the plunge and take his name? 

Woman taking their husband's name is a lasting tradition that crosses cultures and time, something that we should embrace and not fight simply because some women feel that they lost their independence or that it in some way lessens what we have achieved as an individual.  It's a wonderful step of the marriage process which should be viewed as no different than applying for the wedding license, getting the dress or accepting the ring in the first place. 

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