by David Zacker

Created on: May 04, 2010   Last Updated: May 05, 2010

The tongue can be the sharpest of swords. Words can cut deep to the heart.  Physical wounds show outward scars, verbal wounds take far longer to heal and the scars remain hidden deep inside. Verbal abuse will lead to destruction of a relationship.

Often the abused partner can't understand why they are being verbally abused. They have loved their partner and have been faithful. The verbal abuser in the majority of cases has a problem with trust. The abuser has heavy baggage they brought into the relationship.

Past relationships that ended with a cheating spouse may of built a wall around the verbal abuser, a wall that will not allow the verbal abuser to trust their partner. The verbal abuser in this sense is psychologically unstable to the point of verbal accusations and attacks that only drive the partner away and cause unrepairable damage to the marriage or relationship.

The abusing partner may be a product of verbal abuse themselves somewhere in their own past.  A verbal abusive parent, teacher or sibling can be the root of their deep seated problem. 

There is an old saying you always hurt the one you love and in most cases the verbal abuser in a relationship does love their partner and fear has taken over the relationship to the point the verbal abuser fears the relationship ending or they are just certain their partner is going to leave them or cheat on them. 

In other cases they use verbal abuse to control their partners. The side effects of verbal abuse in a relationship leaves the abused in a constant state of fear and depression. Truthfully there is no difference with the verbal abuser then the one who physically abuses.

The only difference is the marks remain hidden from view but the wound is deep inside and only the abused feels the hurt and pain cutting them to their very core.  No one deserves to be treated like this, be it in a relationship or in any situation. 

A child does not deserve to be verbally abused, your neighbor does not deserve this abuse either.  No one does.  Do not just sit back and think it will get better, it won't. Not without help. This means help not just for the one who verbally attacks you but for you also. You are not alone, this is a big problem in today's society. Seek professional help, your church, pastor, teachers, authority's, seek help.  Remember love doesn't hurt, it feels good!

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