by Justin Bartz

Created on: May 03, 2010

His nickname was "Pee Wee".

All of his teammates bestowed the new nickname upon Michael Tripaldi because they said he ran like Pee Wee Herman.  He wasn't the best player on the team, so he didn't end up with the opportunity to run often, but if he was lucky and blooped a base hit in the outfield every month or so, you would see him waddle around the bases and try to stretch it into a double.  Michael never wanted to be called Pee Wee.  He always dreamed of having a name like "Flash" or "Boomer" or "Slugger".  Unfortunately his baseball skills didn't involve anything flashy, and nothing was ever boomed or slugged when he was at the plate.  He would often ask himself about other ballplayers' names and if they were worse than Pee Wee.  Believe it or not, all of the following were real baseball players.

1)  Gaylord Perry

Well, Pee Wee wasn't that bad, but he still questioned where the name Gaylord came from.  Supposedly, Perry was named after a close friend of his father's, who died while having his teeth pulled.  Yes, Gaylord Tripaldi would have been worse, especially when they were on the road and the opposing fans would start to heckle Michael.

2)  Chili Davis

Well, to Davis' credit, he wasn't actually born with the nickname of Chili.  The Jamaican slugger was born Charles Theodore Davis, and his nickname supposedly was given to him at the age of 12 because of a horrendous "chili bowl" haircut.  Michael never understood why Davis would want to keep the nickname Chili throughout his playing career, but once again he told himself that Pee Wee wasn't that bad.

3)  Oil Can Boyd

Born as Dennis Ray Boyd in Mississippi in 1959, Boyd's nickname came from his beer-drinking days in Meridian, Mississippi, where beer is referred to as "oil."  While Oil Can Tripaldi would have been a funny nickname, Michael was satisfied that he didn't end up being called Toilet Bowl Tripaldi since his teammates described his baseball skills as something you would find in a toilet.

4)  Coco Crisp

Initially, Michael thought that Coco Crisp was something that he ate for breakfast as a child until he found out that Crisp (born Covelli Loyce Crisp) was actually an outfielder currently playing for the Oakland Athletics.  Michael exclaimed, "How embarrassing would that be to have a name like a breakfast cereal?"  Unfortunately, he was talking to himself since nobody else was sitting near him on the bench. 

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