by Lisa Doherty

Created on: May 03, 2010

Is the love of our life sitting behind a computer screen somewhere, just waiting for us to pop into the right chat room? Quite possibly. Twelve years and two children ago, I did just that. However, times and technology continue to change and while online dating has evolved into more of a science, the bottom line remains the same. There are some ways to make online dating more successful and less of a crap shoot when it comes to final outcomes.

Honesty:  Sitting behind the computer screen we all have the beauty of Marilyn Monroe and the wittiness of Noel Coward. However, when speaking to someone you have never met, or seen (if a picture has not been provided), be honest. 

While they might have loved you regardless of appearance or intellect, dishonesty only sets the stage for future mistrust and doubt. Lying about any aspect of your person is only going to cause them to love someone you are not. Tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may.   

Distance:  If distance is a problem for either of you, then make sure that is a conversation you have early on.  On the net, you can fall quickly in love with someone a thousand miles away. 

If neither are willing to relocate, there may be a potential problem should the relationship grow and develop into something more.  While friendships can still continue, it is certainly hard to marry someone who lives in Sydney if you are unwilling to leave Peoria.

Spelling and Grammar Count:  Especially if you are instant messaging someone, pay close attention to these small details.  A bad speller can spell disaster for a budding romance because it shows inattention to detail or possibly a lack of education. 

Make sure that if you are in a conversation with someone that you avoid these little errors because it really can reflect badly on you in the long run.

Talk: As soon as is possible, try to move from the screen to the phone. So many things can be taken incorrectly when written, but hearing another person’s voice alleviates much doubt. 

While the computer offers the anonymity and safety that many people need in the beginning of a relationship, moving to the telephone can be just the nudge that an emerging relationship needs.

Plan:  When distance separates you, plan to meet online at specific times so that you have a point of contact each day.  It gives you something to look forward to and it also prevents the hassle of wondering when the other person is going to sign in. 

Planning also comes in handy when you move from the computer to the real world. Planning the first meeting can be as exciting as realizing that first spark between the two of you on the screen.

Online dating takes away many of the obstacles that real time dating cannot overcome.  By factoring out situations where sex or physicality might cloud one’s judgment, online dating gives you the opportunity to really get to know the other person as a human being before anything else can occur. By dating online, you might just find that the person on the other screen has been waiting for you all his or her life.

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