by Lisa Doherty

Created on: May 03, 2010   Last Updated: May 05, 2010

Whether you are on a first date or have been dating awhile, there are so many things women can do right, that it seems a shame to sabotage a good relationship by making common, yet understandable, mistakes.  While we might be inclined to do the same things we have done in past relationships, the one thing we must realize is that if what we did in the past did not work, it might not be wise to try the same things again. 

Here is a short list of things that might be considered relationship no-no’s:

Expecting too much too soon: He likes you. You like him. While the relationship is still new and young, don’t start picking out china patterns or asking him which baby names he likes best.  Men are often put off by a woman who seems too ready to place herself by him forever and this can be the kiss of death for what could have developed into something wonderful. Saying “I love you” first:  We might feel it; we might know that he feels it too.  However, men are not idiots. They know when we feel the same way we do and often still want to take the lead.  Pre-empting his “I love you” might steal his thunder and make him more reticent about saying those longed for words at all.

Criticizing him: Even if you have been dating for awhile, criticizing someone’s appearance, hairstyle, choices in music, etc. might make him reconsider if he wants to live like this the rest of his life. Gentle comments, depending on the length of the relationship, might be taken well.  However, telling him that he should let you pick out his clothes because he looks like a homeless vagrant might just put him off permanently.

Jealousy:  You might think that his co-worker is flirting with him, but it needn’t evolve into a heated argument over his fidelity. Jealousy makes the statement that you don’t trust him or that you are insecure. Both traits are definitely turn-offs. If you suspect something, you can talk about it without raging into a hysterical fit so that he knows how much you care about him.  There are better ways to deal with your feelings, such as discussing the situation and reassuring him that you trust him.

Stop taking care of yourself:  Your relationship might have morphed into a comfortable state where the two of you can sit around the house in sweat pants and t-shirts, no problem.  However, gaining 100 pounds because “He loves you for who you are, not what you look like”

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