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Let's face it....most everybody loves spur of the moment sex. It's heated, passionate, the thing we all fantasize about while still holding on to our desire for a stable relationship. But after sex we, as humans, force ourselves to delve into our cruel little world of self-doubt and picky analysis, which often leads to the pivotal question: Is there something more here?
It can be hard to tell, especially when that certain someone is nuzzling your neck or whispering how sexy you look right next to your ear. But in the end, no one can be satisfied with one-night stands ad nauseum, and so it comes time to differentiate between love and lust.
The problem is that love without lust is rare. While this is fortunate for those who can recognize love, those who have a hard time picking the two apart are left with the haunting image of living with 200 cats when they are older. Thankfully, there are ways to point you down the road that better defines your relationship.
Do you think of them often, and if so, how do you think of them? Thinking of someone often is great. Thinking about past conversations, funny things that person says, or ways you can show your affection to that person are good signs that you may indeed love them. However, if you can't imagine that other person without a french maid costume or rippling biceps (whatever your preference may be) chances are, you are probably in lust.
When you are with this person, is the goal sex? While people often want to be physically connected, this does not always mean sex. Holding hands, leaning on their shoulder, playing footsies. All of these things are perfectly legit. But if you can't get through an evening without forcefully throwing them down on the bed, all signs point to lust.
Do you share common interests? While it is true that opposites attract, don't go looking for someone who opposes your every view point. If the only thing you have in common is the desire to have sex...yep, you guessed it, LUST!
So what am I trying to say? Look for people that you want to have more than just sex with! But remember, many times when you first meet somebody, you start dating on physical attraction. Give it sometime before you label something as lust. It could just be the novelty...allow sometime for intellectual connection before you completely give up on a potential partner.
Learn more about this author, Alex Malanych.
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