by Trecia Webb

Created on: April 29, 2010   Last Updated: April 30, 2010

The fascination of the unknown. Is he/she a great kisser? Is he/she a better lover? The body, does it look like an A-list Hollywood star? What about his/her intellect? Is he/she challenging. Is she wild like a dominatrix? Is he intriguing like a chameleon?

Does the wrongness of it makes it harder to walk away? Do you feel addicted, always wanting more? Does the impetuosity gives you chills and separation anxiety? Do you feel sexier, more attractive, and naughty? Does the guilt haunt you but not strong enough to make you stop? Do you fantasize about what role to play next and where to go to play it? Are you always hungry, but not for food? Do you count down the days for that special but short couple of hours?

All the above emotional roller coaster is a signal you are having an affair. The reasons for having an affair vary, even though the emotions that keep us going back or cause us to start one in a first place might be similar.

Infidelity is not always a black and white version of unfaithfulness. It could be said, and we may all agree, that no matter how bad our marriage gets, we can do anything else but have an affair. We may also agree that an affair could complicate things, making it the most regrettable moment in our lives.

We know that the strain that comes with dealing with the aftermath of an affair makes everything else seems like a cake walk, even if we think that the problems are what caused the affair. We sometimes hope that we could turn back time, back to the days when we were fighting all the time; then choose counseling as a remedy or release, instead of doing something that can't be undone. Everything before the affair almost seems easier to handle than after the affair happens.

Even as we recognize the demise of others' relationships - couples separating, children living in a single parent homes, multiple suicides and suicide attempts caused from the shame and the unwillingness to live with the decision, there's still infidelity. With all the consequences, affairs happens, and with everything at stake, we allow them to happen.

So why do people have affairs? An affair starts within us before it's manifested on the outside. We are always looking to fill a void and more often than not, we seek to fill it with a person. We believe that the longing is something our partner cannot fill. However, if that's the case, why do we always want

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