by KKaryn

Created on: April 27, 2010   Last Updated: April 28, 2010

I didn't think that the scars of an affair could every be healed, until I found myself in the place of needing a healing. I found that my healing was very much like the affair my husband had, it was a choice that only I could make for me. He didn't give a thought to how it would hurt me or our relationship and he went forward with his choice to have an affair and like him I made the choice to be healed from the pain.

One of the things we think could aid in our healing is for the guilty party to admit that the affair took place and we want details. That will never happen. I did my own detective work and got my own damaging information with pictures. When I confronted my husband about the affairs (yes there were more than one woman, it usually is), he still did not admit to anything. I couldn't take it any longer, I lost a lot of weight and was looking good on the outside, but on the inside was dieing. I didn't want him touching me, being in the same room with him was hard for me, I mean he started trying to make me feel like I was losing my mind.

I decided to get my freedom from his affairs and start healing myself so that I could move on with life. I didn't like how I felt or how my life was going, I lived with someone that I no longer knew. I started making plans just for me and about me. I told myself that I would not allow anyone to control my happiness and that was my beginning to healing from the affairs. I prayed for my strength and directions, then I went though our health insurance and found me a therapist to help me with the mental part of this.

I started to feel better once I accepted that my husband's choice to have an affair had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with him and who he is. I learned that he was not the man he wanted to be and to make up for that he was seeking out other women to make him feel like that man. He was lacking things in him that he thought he could find outside of our relationship. We both could agree that I loved him and I did all the things he needed around the house, but I couldn't change how he felt about his-self, that is something he had to do and didn't know how to. I told him he needed help and he did go once to the same therapist I was seeing and stop because he is one of those people that can't deal with the dark places inside of his-self.

While I continue on seeing my therapist and going to church, ( without my faith in God I wouldn't have made the choice to heal), I found things that

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