by Christine Sandor

Created on: April 26, 2010   Last Updated: October 08, 2010

Bullying is not new. It has been around for many years, but the ammunition used by bullies has changed. Not only does it seem to be more cruel and violent but bullies now attack their targets via text messages and the Internet.  Millions of children from the very young to High School and even College Students experience the pain of bullying on a daily basis.  However, parents, teachers and other adults may not always be aware how extreme the problem is as it does not take place in the open.

The signs that your child is a target are subtle and sometimes very difficult to discern.  In younger children you might see more physical symptoms such as Diarrhea, vomiting, or even somatic complaints of stomach aches and headaches. Your child may ask not to go to school and exhibit signs of increased stress.  Older children may become school phobic as well. They may skip school, refuse to go or suddenly lose interest in school work and begin to do poorly. They may act out by being disruptive, aggressive or even talk about suicidal feelings. If your child seems moody, teary, depressed and is complaining of physical ailments a red flag should go up.   In many cases, it is important to understand; children may not come right out and tell an adult.

Although we should stress to our children that talking to adults about bullying is important, they may not do so out of fear that it will make the situation worse, or perhaps they have been threatened by the bully not to speak about it.  Taking the time to talk to your child each day about his/her academic experiences and school environment opens the door for them to feel comfortable confiding any fears or incidents.  As you child feels the ability to trust you, his parent, trusting other adults such as teachers and school authorities will come easier.

It is vital to contact school officials as soon as you become of a bullying incident with your child. Most schools have policies in place and should take swift action. If, however, you are not satisfied with the schools response or the bullying continues, you may want to consider involving the authorities. There are harassment laws in place in most states and communities.

If you are the parent of child who is bullying others it will be important to take action beyond consequences at home. Certainly there should be consequences for your child’s behavior, but grounding a child or taking away their phone for a few days may not be enough. 

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