by Elaine M. Doxie

Created on: April 24, 2010   Last Updated: April 26, 2010

Obviously, cutting people out of our lives should not be our first resort, but if disrespectful behavior continues to the point where it becomes abusive, we may have no choice for our own health and well-being.  It is a painful choice and not one to be taken lightly, but sometimes it is the only choice. 

This painful decision is one that I have been forced to make in my own life, regarding my ex-husband, his new wife, and even my own children.  Regarding my children, if they ever do make the decision to cease the disrespectful behavior, my heart will be open to them again, but they will have to apologize for the mistreatment and name-calling that they have subjected me to.  As for my ex-husband and his wife, they will never be welcome as a part of my life again.  The only contact I have with them at this point in time is when they force contact by taking me back to court yet again over some other issue that they have concocted.  Otherwise, I avoid them at all costs.

The behavior from them that I have been subject to started with my ex-husband alone, being emotionally abusive during the course of our 15 year marriage.  He would put me down, calling me names that do not bear repeating, and continually destroy my self-esteem.  He often tried to play his comments off as jokes, but after the 100th time, the joke is no longer funny.  Actually it stops being funny after the 1st time.  He would tell me I was incompetent, fat, ugly, etc.  It got to the point where I wondered why he married me if that's what he thought of me. 

When I discovered I didn't have to be treated that way, I told him I wanted a divorce.  That was a mistake.  This was when he started working on turning the children against me.  He took away my access to the computers, and told the children they were in charge of whether I could use them or not.  Never, ever give teenagers this kind of power.  That is just asking them to abuse it.  One night when I told my daughter she couldn't go to her friend's house after dark because she was being disrespectful, he took all the children away for the night and attempted to file a police report about it.

This set the stage for the children to start treating me abusively as well.  My daughter ran away within 2 months of my leaving my ex.  My sons started following suit, until I had no choice but to give them up to him.  During all of this, his new girlfriend

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