by Alistair Marquise

Created on: April 23, 2010   Last Updated: October 21, 2010

The sheets of the bed are damp with my sweat, and I alternate between lying under them and on top of them as my body temperature fluctuates from arctic-wind-frigid to Florida-summer-roasting.  My stomach is an acid-filled wood chipper compacted into a dense, painful sphere, like I’ve eaten a ball of broken glass.  The insides of my eyelids feel like sandpaper, and every time I close them I’m confronted with the strobe-like flashing of the words that haunt me; Slightly more, More, By far…

…Submit!  Submit!  Submit!

I am an addict, and my drug of choice is Helium.

Yes, and like most addicts, I did not start using Helium with the intention of getting hooked.  It was just a bit of fun at first, a little something light to allow me to escape once in a while, nothing serious.  A friend introduced me to the site after she’d been using it for nearly three years.  I didn’t realize then how thoroughly wrapped up in it she was.  I wasn’t aware of the telltale signs of Helium addiction- the twitchy fingers, the constant jotting down of ideas, the competitive gleam in the eye.

“Write an article” she said, “just to see how it feels.  I bet you’ll like it.  Just do one.”

One.  One was all it took.  I wasn't sure what other people might think of my experimentation, so the first time I submitted an article, I did it alone in the darkness of my room, away from the eyes of those who might judge me for my curiosity.  It started off neutral enough. Mine was one of fifty other articles that existed in that particular title, so it began its life right around the number twenty-five slot. 

“So what?”  I thought.  “I don’t really care how it does in the ratings anyway.  I was just trying it out.  I really don’t see what the big deal is.”  
An hour later I was back at my computer, checking the rating status of my article.  It had moved up five slots to number twenty.  I admit, I felt good, but I tried to keep it in check.  After all, I hadn’t really put that much thought into the thing, it was just something I came up with on the spot, just to see how it all worked.    Still, the butterflies had begun fluttering in my stomach, and I spent a little time looking at other titles that I might contribute to, y’know, just in case I decided to write

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>