by Kristopher Oppegaard

Created on: April 22, 2010

Space travel is a seemingly common childhood dream, and it appears that the day is coming where that will be a possibility. But that will not be anytime soon. This idea is absurd for many reasons. No matter how many people the company is able to board on these ships, it will never be cost-effective enough to price it affordably for a middle-class American family to embark into the Final Frontier. And even if it was, there is still the major inconvenience of consumer safety regulations and the countless preparations and procedures travelers would have to undergo. There is no way this could exist in the foreseeable future, without major problems.

For the sake of argument, let's say this business is all ready to go. We are looking at the maiden voyage (I can't help but think of the Titanic), probably boarded by Oprah Winfrey, Will Smith, Lady Gaga, and maybe a lucky contest winner. Then, we'll hear about a few, slightly less famous people and more rich people blasting off for a few months. Then what? This is a dream of everyone's. Which is why you may be inclined to believe that you will experience it. The fact of the matter is that nearly everyone in the country will be at a loss if this is developed in the next couple of decades. You can scrimp and save all you'd like, but an afternoon in space is probably going to run you about as much as half a dozen trips to Disney World. Isn't Space Mountain good enough?

Again for the sake of argument, let's say you manage to get a ticket on this thing. You take a second mortgage on the house. Get some brand new credit cards. Whatever it takes. Now, here comes the fun. But wait, it's only been about thirty years or so since serious launch pad failures resulting in death. For a company to be liable for the lives of civilians with family members on Terra Firma who will be more than willing to sue them in the event of catastrophe, these are going to have to be foolproof. Essentially, it will have to be as safe a means of travel as planes. But if you are one of the unlucky few to hit a flock of geese, you may not be walking away from this one. And god forbid if you forget to turn off your cell phone on THIS flight. There will have to be a serious amount of planning and forethought in this. Additionally, each wannabe spaceman and spacewoman will have to submit to tests ensuring their capability of surviving 3 G's of force. Sorry, seniors and children. Your discount is null and void here. Maybe fifty years from now you can go too.

The idea of a commercial space travel success in the near future is preposterous. A space travel business model cannot exist when it relies on a clientele of both considerable affluence and are able-bodied enough to live everyone's dreams while the rest of us sulk in the corner like the one kid who didn't get his permission slip signed for the class trip to Six Flags.

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