by Elizabeth A. Marion

Created on: April 21, 2010

Struggling with a disability is difficult enough, but it can be even harder when the people around you don't understand or are not even fully aware of what you're dealing with. I have to deal with constant pain. I have Lyme's Disease. People can't see my pain. They don't realize how exhausted I am and how deeply I'm hurting. They can't see what's wrong with me and often assume nothing is wrong with me. If there's something I can't do because it is too painful I have to awkwardly explain that to someone, who then constantly feels that they have to ask me how I feel. When people don't know what I'm dealing with they might put me in some awkward situations without realizing it. And when people do know I feel like there's a big bulls eye on me and everyone around me is thinking "There's that girl who is sick!" They're all well intentioned and they don't mean to make me feel that way, but it makes me feel that way anyway.

In addition to dealing with the pain and the fatigue, I soon had to deal with another unseen problem-depression. It was really inevitable. I don't see how I could have gone through all of that pain, which I'm still going through, and not become depressed. Depression hasn't left physically disabled, but it kept me from engaging with other people and caring about what was going on around me. I felt like I was emotionally disabled. I could no longer function like a normal person and I could no longer think like a normal person. It was so hard to think about things other than what I was going through and how I felt about it. I felt like I was separated from the rest of the world, facing my own difficult situation all on my own. I never really talked to anyone about I felt because I didn't think there would be much point to it. They weren't going through what I was going through. How could they understand? How could they relate? How could they say or do anything to make it better?

Through my struggles I have certainly learned a few things. I have learned to be more aware and more sensitive of the struggles of others who are disabled. Many who are considered disabled are visibly disabled, such as being reliant on a wheel chair. I can't make everything better for them, but I can choose to be that person who looks at them like they're a person instead of looking at them like there's something wrong with them. No one who is struggling wants to feel like a target for discussion and gossip or even a target for sympathy. If you know someone with a disability, invisible or otherwise, you don't need to treat them like they are different than everyone else. Just do your best to be understanding.

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