by Sheila Hollinghead

Created on: April 20, 2010   Last Updated: April 22, 2010

No one has all the answers when it comes to raising children. One reason is because each child is unique and comes with his/her own special set of challenges for the parents. But another reason, one not often thought about, is because each parent is unique. The raising of children becomes a delicate dance between two or three personalities. And the dance can become chaotic when stepparents and siblings are considered.

Difficulties abound when raising children. Is there a right way? Often people will say, “Children do not come with instructions.” Fortunately, these people are wrong. God has given us an instruction manual complete with examples. He not only tells parents how to raise children, he also shows the correct and sometimes the incorrect way to do so. God is the perfect parent. A diligent study of the Bible will help give people the answers they seek.

The Bible tells its readers that God expects from all people to examine self. Hopefully Christian parents will parallel their lives with the life of God’s son before the decision is made to bring new life into the world. Paul writes in Philippians 2:12b, “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” Only then will a person be ready to raise up a child in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4) The word translated “nurture” comes from the Greek work “trephóto” that means “make to grow, to nourish, feed.” (Strong’s Greek Dictionary)

The first question to consider is how children can be fed or nourished in a world brimming with time-consuming activities? Parents must carve out time from busy schedules to “nurture” their children. The first stanza of I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing contains these words:

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing

Watch you smile while you are sleeping

While you’re far away and dreaming

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender

I could stay lost in this moment forever

Well, every moment spent with you

Is a moment I treasure.

Yes, a love song but one that can be applied to the raising of children. “Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.” What beautiful words to apply to parents’ relationships with their children. The point made by these words is to strive to be in the moment when someone is with a loved one, focusing their thoughts on and enjoying the time with them (not just when they’re sleeping, however sweet that may be). The million and one things needing to be done can be set aside. Live in the moment and know what kids are up to. God as the perfect parent focuses on each and every one of his children. If children know parents are watching, that parents are concerned and that they expect good behavior from them, the children will strive to live up to parental expectations.

Unfortunately, the following scenario is often played out. A child glances at a parent and then, thinking the parent isn’t watching, begins to engage in misbehavior. This shows if  parents keep their eyes on their kids they can often head misbehavior off at the pass. This does not mean hovering over kids or not allowing them freedom. It means being aware of what is going on in their lives and letting them know we are aware of what is going on. Most are familiar with the verses: Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 

This statement also holds truth: Everyone who loves his children knows his children because, like God, the parent is keeping watch.

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