by Ngozi Nwoke

Created on: April 20, 2010

Two people went to a manufacturer and complained that his product failed to work. The manufacturer asked them if they read the manual and the first person said no while the second person said yes that he did read the manual. The manufacturer then asked the second person if he followed the instructions on how to use the product and he answered no that he did not follow the instructions as stated in the manual. The manufacturer looked at them and said, “If you used this product outside the stipulated way, surely it should fail but only in your hands.”

The institution of marriage has instructions on how to make marriages work. It is a big failure in many places and families because the people involved have failed to discover and follow the manual for marriage. The couple want to run their marriage as they desire, as it is convenient for them. And if it fails to run the way they want it, then they want out of the marriage, in search of where they can run it the way they want.

Marriage is good and should be desired. Marriage should last till death separates the couple. Marriage among other things provides companionship, reinforcement mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and even financially. The couple complements one another in marriage. The benefits of a successful marriage are enormous that it is worth the price paid to secure it. It is this price that many are not willing to pay in order to secure a successful marriage.

Marriage involves leaving parents and cleaving together. Many couples left their parents but did not cleave together. They are not one as they should be; there is manifestation of selfishness in their words and actions. The couple's personal interests over-shadow their mutual interests; neither do they consider the interest of their partner above their own personal interest.

In marriage, the couple also has responsibilities towards one another and to the rest of the family. Many times couples avoid or desist from fulfilling these responsibilities incorporated in marriage. People desire to be married but are not ready to accept the responsibilities within the institution of marriage. One of such responsibilities is to love one another unconditionally. Another responsibility is to submit to one another in all things. When a couple fails to love and submit to one another, they will not be bonded together and this can lead to failure in marriage.

Further more, in the days of our parents and grandparents and great-grandparents, divorce or separation was not an option to a troubled marriage. They accepted the responsibility to make the marriage work. But in this generation, separation and divorce have become celebrated options to troubled marriages. People do not want to sacrifice anything in order to have a successful marriage. They want the easy way out.

Surely, there are many failed marriages, so also do we still have many couples leaving legacies of successful marriages for their children and their children to follow. The question is - what legacy of marriage will we leave for our own children and their children after them?

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