Dictionary Definitions:
Hypocrite - a person who is given to hypocrisy
Hypocrisy - the practice of claiming to higher standards or beliefs than is the case
The longer I live and the more I learn about people, the more certain I am that each one of us could use a good long look in the mirror at our own reflections. While in our claims, we describe our personal ideas and viewpoints, our integrity - as completely above reproach, I believe the exact opposite is often more honest and true to self-scrutiny. It's a lot easier to stand above the crowd and point out their faults and flaws - as I've personally seen so many people do - than to look into your own heart and soul with a sincere attempt at seeing what is secreted there.
Even the Bible, old and worn from so many years of exercise, approaches this human phenomena with it's verse about seeing the beam in your own eye before attempting to retract the mote from your brother's eye. I love this verse because of it's infinite wisdom and find myself relating wholly to the idea behind the words. I have been on both sides of the fence and come away assured of the fact that I will forever be working on extracting that "beam" from my own eye.
{Matthew 7:3} Dictionary Definitions: * mote - a speck *beam - a long piece of timber
I do it all the time so I am not placing blame on anyone else's shoulders when I say this... We all love to take the "easy" way out. Blame someone else for our own failures and defeats, seek out a reasonable source - a parent, a spouse, a child - someone, ANYONE, who has previously hurt us with words or deeds... Anyone to place the blame for our own faults, flaws and failures. It's so much easier to simply ignore conscious' knowledge, which is sure to force you into claiming the blame for your own failings and errors in judgement, than it is to turn your gaze in your own direction and extract your own demons'. It's easier to blame someone else, but - in my personal opinion - not even close to healthier.
This is the place where I would like to say - Oh, I've never been a hypocrite. I've never blamed others for my own mistakes or errors. I've always taken complete responsibility for my own faults and flaws, my own lack of insight and understanding, my own "beam". Then, I would be sharing the hypocritical viewpoint to the fullest of my ability. That would most definitely make me into a hypocrite and a liar of the worst sort.
I have no qualms whatsoever in laying claim to the certainty that I have been WRONG in many, many situations. I have even known I was wrong and still taken the wrong direction. And, I have found myself paying the price for my own mistakes and wrongs. That is as it should be, though. I don't want someone else to pay the price for my faults and I refuse to lay the blame on the shoulders of someone else. That would be defeating the purpose of learning lessons and, at the risk of sounding rather vague, I believe the lessons are often the treasures among the rocky' roads of our lives.
Do I also defeat the purpose when I say that I hate hypocrisy, not only in my own self - but in others. I absolutely detest hypocrisy! That is a simple fact that I can't help mulling over time and time again. Why is it that I hate hypocrisy so much? I wonder...
Could it be that I've seen hypocritic thinking in so many instances that it's swayed me into the personal prejudice against this sort of thinking? Could it be some inner urgency toward regaining my true self... the me that lived so long ago - the child who was often, typically actually, the only one to blame for her own mistakes. As a only child, I didn't have a brother or sister to blame my faults and flaws on. I couldn't say that someone else did it... when I committed some childhood crime. It is impossible to lay blame on someone else when you're the only kid around.
Who knows? I have no way of really knowing why I think the way I think, but I do attempt to understand the heart and soul on a deeper level. That is my nature. I'm a deep thinker who challenges my own thoughts, ideas and vision. I can't help myself.
So many people have walked through my heart, leaving footprints imprinted across my soul ... and I have a tendency to drift into the habit of dissecting the relationships I've been a part of. This is just a part of my desire to learn and grow, a ongoing process that I will undoubtedly be a part of for the rest of my life. Every day, I learn something new and everyday, I'm thankful for the lessons and invaluable insights. I enjoy learning and leave the hypocrisy behind me when I reach into myself and find the keys to freedom.
I get bored too easily and am currently seeking out ways of freeing myself from the boredom. I once talked to a very intelligent woman who is patient, kind and freely expresses herself and her own ideas - without qualms or traditional prejudice. I just love this lady and am always in awe of her fearless dance with reality and the supernatural. She is a light that shines through my life and I doubt she even knows this.
When talking with this bold and brilliant woman who is capable of painting a vivid array of colors with her engaging personality, I find myself filled with more light than I imagined possible. She is a true fireball of love and laughter and I completely adore talking to her. She also shares stories of her history and ongoing relationship with crystal meth and crack... she is a addict and has no misgivings about revealing this fact.
As one who is naive to the effects of meth or crack, I am always eager to hear her revelations on the effects of the drugs she uses... it's interesting to experience the vibrant flow of her energy and intensity, her passion - as she talks. Obviously, addiction to meth isn't a personal goal of mine, but I question her and she answers.
One question I had for her was the reason - the real reason - that she chooses to do crack or meth? Why do it when you're going to have to visit a meth clinic for the rest of your life and when you are knowledgeable enough to know this - not only that the visits take up the majority of your thoughts and time - but that they also cost enough to make pursuing a income almost useless. She told me, "to fight the boredom"... and I understand completely.
I love this crazy, fearless lady and find peace in her presence. Why? She might be a lot of things. But, She is no hypocrite!
With that last thought, I would like to dedicate this essay to her... With Love