by Shaun Wing

Created on: April 20, 2010   Last Updated: April 22, 2010

High speed rail networks exist due to umpteen individuals who access this mode of transport on a daily basis. These are the regular users who systematically like clockwork; frequent the rail network for up to 2 hours a day. It is a lifestyle choice. Engineered to the London city clock watchers, rail travel correspond to working times of every citizen who embraces the ‘rat race’ with a grit and determination that is only rewarded with obscene rail fees; leaving them with a beetroot face glow as they stride forth onwards to that promotion, by which time the fees would of escalated.

It was the Tories who privatised the railways. Government squeaks mini suggestions in response to disenchanted rail passengers to the rail authorities ‘Captain Kirk and his men’ but alas they’ve rocketed off to another galaxy rather than to hear the high pitched squeak; “Please sir, please lower your fees.”

To add atmosphere to this piece, I’ve perched precariously on a wrought iron holey chair that is destined to keep its shape after meeting my rear, at a famous London travel information, eyes darting everywhere, yes, that’s right, every Bill Gates TV monitors carry the same information.

Data is presented out over the monitors like a ‘Mexican Wave;’ if you have the time to watch and take in the technological spectacle. I can assure you no-one else has noticed the rhyme of data that splashes out every five seconds as updates are updated, followed by an ‘automated Clarey’ singing tone, this time.

I feel I’ve been here too long already; people are peering suspiciously at me wondering why I’m not mesmerised by the updates that flitter majestically on the walls.

I’m all in favour of the high speed rail network plan Lord Adonis has sprung on us public of recent. He reminds me of a washed up Janitor whereby over 80% of his hair follicles have jumped ship.

Lord Adonis is perfect for the job of squeaking to the transport authority’s as his demeanour wouldn’t change in the slightest if he was told that his nine month old puppy had been last seen outside a Chinese restaurant, it’s prospects, not looking good Lord.

I’m certain that his unperturbed appearance of ‘non emotional serenity’ won’t get the loud mouth train bosses out of Lakesides orgy of plain talking socialism.

The only Lord they would relate to is the puppet ‘Lord Charles.’

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