by Jesica Dark

Created on: February 25, 2007   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

As a woman raised by a single mother, who has three siblings but no brothers, I had no idea what to do with my son when he was born. So, I treated him exactly like my daughter. This worked until he became dexterous enough to play with his penis (or wee-wee as we like to call it). What's a liberal, forward-thinking, sensitive mom to do?

I'm not going to lie. At first, I was appalled. The knee-jerk reaction was there to admonish my baby and tell him "that's bad!". But, if you think about it, its not really. As for where they learn it, when you change your son's diaper, do you avoid his penis or clean it? Same goes for the bath. So, instead of teaching my son that touching himself is bad, I taught him that he can only do it in the bath.

It really wasn't that difficult, once I had resolved to do it. Before he was out of diapers, it was a no-brainer. The only time he had access was in the bath. When he potty trained, and he could more easily reach, we made a deal. Like belching, farting, and sticking your tongue out, playing with oneself became rude if done in front of others. He didn't do it outside of the bath, and I didn't make a thing out of it. Every once in a while, he would try, watching me through the corner of his eye. I would simply get down on me knees, so we were eye-to-eye, keeping my voice calm, but authoritative, and tell him "That's rude, bad manners, Mommy does not want you to do that here." and he would stop. After a few weeks of this, he stopped trying.

I know this is not likely the conventional approach. But, I never have to worry about my son making grandma faint or whipping it out in the mall food court. I also didn't have to lie to him and tell him his penis is bad. Now, if we could just get him to stop ripping the heads off his sister's Barbies.....

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