by Jean Sidden

Created on: April 19, 2010

Though it is often said that jealousy is the greatest form of flattery, when we work around people who are jealous of us, interaction becomes quite tense. Someone who is truly experiencing the emotion of jealousy is not thinking clearly. They are distracted by this negative feeling and are unable to openly communicate. Suddenly this wonderful form of flattery becomes an obstacle.

People who are jealous are not being reasonable. Whether you are the jealous one or the object of the jealousy, it's an unpleasant emotion that we perpetuate ourselves. It usually stems from a sense of low self-esteem and the misguided notion that we won't be able to achieve all the things we want. Feeling jealous only makes us feel worse than we already do.

If you have to work with someone who is jealous of you, they may have moved through jealousy and are radiating anger and blame towards you. These are emotions that completely shut down free communication. The only thing to do is try to ignore their bad attitude and continue your attempt towards some kind of common ground.

If your jealous coworker translates their anger and blame into being nasty and impossible you will need to speak to someone about it. The cause of inappropriate behavior aside, if someone's attitude towards you is a deterrent to getting the job done, it needs to be adjusted. You may want to meet privately with your supervisor and attempt to explain the situation in as discreet, polite and respectful a way as possible.

If you are feeling jealous of someone else's accomplishments, try to remember that in truth there are just as many opportunities for achievement available to you as there are to others. No one gets all the rewards in life, though it may sometimes seem that way. Make an effort to shift your perspective away from what someone else has done and more towards yourself and what you want.

In both scenarios, whether you are the object of jealousy or are feeling jealous yourself, remember that jealousy is more unpleasant for the one who is feeling it than it is for the object. Exercise some empathy towards the jealous person. Try to see things from their point of view and use tolerance towards them. There is a good chance that if you meet jealousy with relaxed respect you'll help your colleague work through all the negativity and change their outlook.

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