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For the last ten years, my family has been blended with step-children on both sides.

When my husband and I were first married we had to learn how to blend five children together, from the ages of 15 down to 6, it wasn't easy.

We came into this situation, not with the intent of having each other's children call us Mom or Dad, but with the intent first of securing their friendship, love and respect. As for me, I told my two step-children, I am not your Mom, and I can't and won't try to take your Mom's place, but I will be your friend, and I will always be there for you no matter what, just as if you were my own children. I have held to that promise, and last year, when my step-daughter was having problems, she turned to me and told me she loved me for being there for her, not only as a friend, but as a 'mother'.

On the other end of the spectrum, my husband played a very vital and important role in my own children's lives. He was there for them when their own father wasn't. He spent time with them where their own father didn't. My son needed this attention most of all, and needed a positive male role model in his life, which my husband filled. On Father's Day, my now grown son called my husband and told him, 'You were more a father to me than my own dad, how can I ever thank you for being there for me growing up, I love you, Dad.' My husband was so touched by this, I swear I saw tears in his eyes.

Being a step-parent isn't always easy, and to me it's not important if they call me Mom, what is important is that I love them just as much as my own children, and they have learned to love me in return.

Learn more about this author, D. Begole.
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