by Ray Langley

Created on: April 19, 2010

What new dads should know about being a father.

 As this woman before you grows and changes with life, it is important to realize that these changes are only the tip of the proverbial “iceberg.” The issues of “self” are issues of the past as a father must accept that the child should come first and as a new dad must reassess his new place in the “chain of command” at home, and to put the child first, may indeed mean, putting mom first in order to keep everyone happy. The roles that have led down the path of parenting change once the child arrives, and being prepared for these changes is a necessity.

 A new dad must remember that there are two people who are going to have needs, and neither one may have the ability to express them beyond simplified emotions. Be aware that your partner has just experience a great loss. That is right, a loss. Having the child grow inside of her for nine months is having a “body mate” that will not go away, and regardless of the discomfort and pain, she has gotten use to having that child inside of her. Even though the child is there, right there in front of her, she will miss having it internally.

 It is going to be hard, you will not get much sleep and the rest you do get will be jagged riffs that are barely memorable, scared yet? That is just the first month.  Know that you have a limit to your patience and be prepared. Not only emotionally, and psychologically, but with supplies you will need to care for the child too. Make sure you have all the necessities, including patience for the things that maybe missing. Do not add to the emotional drama that may occur at first. Your partner maybe short in response, impatient and looking to blame someone, if this happens excuse yourself before you respond, give yourself the time to respond calmly and do not get caught up in the drama.

Making it through the first few…years, yes, years will be challenging, but as you experience the delight of watching that red and purple blob blossom into a human being the rewards become apparent. The child’s first laugh, first smile and all the other little things that we take for granted everyday will not compare to that very first,

 “I love you dad!”

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