by Mwandi M.

Created on: April 17, 2010

How short is a short skirt?  No… seriously.  How short is a short skirt?  I must ask because I think I need a very definitive definition of “short”.   I want specifics of short.  I want you to draw me a diagram of a lady, and indicate with a yellow marker across her legs the varying degrees of short; “too short”, “just a tad short”, “not that short” and “just right”. 

The company I worked for had a policy on dressing…they said that the length of the skirt must be below the knee.  I believe that policy was not strictly enforced as some of my workmates come to work with their skirts at a length… let me be politically correct and state that they were above the knee to varying degrees.  I was in awe.  I was also vaguely aware that a proportion of male colleagues did not mind the short skirt.  In fact, if possible, they would buy “the man” who invented “the short skirt” copious amounts of alcohol at the bar.  But I digress…

How short is a short skirt?  And is it better to wear a short skirt or a tight skirt?  I’ve seen ladies go to work with scandalously (no political correctness here) short skirts.  Then, there are those (companies) with “strict” guidelines on the length of the skirt; but foolishly none on the tightness of the skirt.  So it’s below the knee, but I can bet she woke up half an hour earlier so her housemate could stitch the skirt on her. 

Some would argue short is relative and depends on many factors; the nature of the business, the business environment, the time of business, the age of the lady, the height and waist-hip-posterior ratio of lady, the mode of transportation, the era, the safety, the reason, the target…the list is endless.  “How now” says the Nairobian girl in her short skirt (and 3 inch heels) taking a matatu across town at 5.45 am to get to work.  “Brave soul” I mutter to myself, as I don a loose fitting formal pair of pants to catch the bus to work that stops 3 minutes away from my house.

And the most hilarious bit is who is allowed to wear short skirts?  Should there be age groups allowed, nay, encouraged to don short skirts?  Should it be allowed in particular years and not others?  I know of some mothers who would admonish their daughter for dressing in such short outfits…yet it’s the same mother in her early twenties in the 60s, 70s or 80s who wore skirts so short that called for no erratic movement…such as walking moderately fast.

The policy on short skirts is very confusing…there’s a lot of grey in that area.  So I’ve changed my mind.  I don’t want a diagram.  I want a matrix; draw me a matrix that will guide me on the length of skirt I’m allowed to wear, at what age, at what waist-hip-posterior ratio, for what job, at what time, taking which mode of transportation, bearing in mind my socio-economic status, the safety of my environment and the fact that I want to look damn sexy at the same time as I go to work.

Until then, pants it is.        

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