by MeeshelleOZ

Created on: February 25, 2007   Last Updated: April 28, 2009

It's true I have a fetish for New Yorker Jewish boys that listen to hip-hop. I like their fast-talking, cool attitude and darting eyes. I like the way they always wear their hats a little crooked and they always have some variation of a camouflage in their outfits.

I like the way they look down on everything and hate group mentality. They pretend to be misfits, but their individual style' is so calculated that it's really just a coat of armor. People won't notice how insecure they are if they sport a cool, hip and urban outfit to distract them.

My friends and family have noticed this fetish of mine and blame it solely on the Beastie Boys. The problem is they are right. But the carefree, cheeky abandon that I love about the Beastie Boys is never embodied by these characters. In fact, it's usually quite the opposite.

You know these guys look in the mirror before the go out for the evening. These boys listen to only what's cool, are very concerned with image, and are most likely immature momma's boys who are hiding their favorite stuffed animal from their childhood in their closet.

These guys don't tie their shoes. They nod their head to the beat of their ipod as they look around with forced-jaded confidence. They are very observant about material things, not feelings. They usually have three-day stubble and they always carry breath mints.

These boys are too cool for cool itself. A quality that I take as personal affront to my personality. Maybe that's why I'm attracted to these boys because I see their existence as a dare and nobody loves a good game of truth or dare more than me.

I want to shock these boys. My mere honesty and abandon of "cool" leaving their mouths agape and their feathers ruffled. They don't know how to take me. I don't fit into any of their compartments and it drives them crazy. I'll look them straight in the eye and admit heartbreak, my love of Full House, or my former crush on Jordan Knight from the New Kids On The Block.

These boys don't want to like me but the can't help it. I represent everything that they have been repressing. They find my candor refreshing even though I make them blush.

All of the relationships The Beastie Boy has been in involved a war of the ego.

On my most depressed days, I have a theory that there is no such thing as love, but only ego masquerading as love. No two people actually have a real connection. We are all utterly alone when it comes down to it. The illusion of love is just something our ego invents to make us feel better. Even on my better days I recognize that this theory is true for some people. And for The Beastie Boy it is a way of life.

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