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Insomnia is what happens when your body lacks sleep. It is the inability to drift off to dream. For those that suffer from insomnia, it seems like a never-ending cycle. No matter what they do, sleep doesn't come and they begin to plunge into another chapter in an insomniac story of their life.

Insomnia stories will vary from one person to the next. Some people may claim that their lack of sleep makes them delirious. Other people will claim that they are more creative when they are awake for longer periods of time. Regardless of the differing opinions, insomnia is not healthy. Trust me, I know.

At a very young age, I knew that I was different. Every doctor I visited gave me a different mental disorder diagnosis. No one seemed to know exactly what was wrong with me but they all agreed that my mental illness was the reason I was unable to sleep.

My first experience with insomnia was as a young child. I became convinced that evil lurked in the darkest shadows. I truly believed that if I stayed awake that nothing could harm me. I thought that something would only get me if it snuck up on me. If I was expecting it, I knew it wouldn't bother me.

I forced myself to stay awake. I thought that I was protecting my siblings if I just kept my eyes open. They would snore loudly in their beds as I sat upright with my eyes darting from one corner to the next. In my mind, I was a protector and a hero but no one knew how valuable I was.

As I got older, I used my insomnia as a tool. I would spend my late nights writing or getting chores done that I couldn't perform during the day. I simply felt more productive at night. Pretty soon, my attitude about sleep became "I will sleep when I am dead". I quit even thinking about something I didn't figure I needed anyways.

During daylight hours, I found myself becoming eccentric. I would see and hear things that I later discovered didn't exist. I felt uncontrollable bursts of energy that caused me to lower my inhibitions. I would do things without even thinking and the results were never good.

The inability to sleep brought more problems. I began to fear the dark all together. Even as an adult I got to the point that I would not go to the bedroom at all if I were alone. On nights that my husband fell asleep on the couch, I would curl up on the loveseat and stare into the dark distance of my home.

Throughout the progression of my life, I have had many mixed feelings about sleeping. I have experimented with many supposed foolproof sleep methods.

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