by Dolores Moore

Created on: April 15, 2010

There is something deliciously ironic about certain catch phrases to excuse shortcomings.   They have a way of turning an awkward situation into an opportunity to share a laugh or smile over our common human failings.  They also help to put things into perspective, turning mountains into manageable molehills.   Such catch phrases tend to draw on traditional wit and wisdom and are often closely aligned to specific areas or cultures.  Some are quite universal and self-explanatory, while others need translation, despite originating from a common language.  Here are a few personal favorites:

"I got out of bed the wrong side this morning."
(Please excuse me for being grumpy.)

"She's as much use as a chocolate teapot."
(This woman is very inefficient.) 

"I must have had a senior moment."   Apologies to senior readers
(I was rather confused about the matter.)

"If I were six foot tall, I'd be perfect."
(I am rather plump and am just five foot high.)

"He's away with the fairies."
(This man is in a world of his own, totally out of touch with reality.)

"If he had a brain, he'd be dangerous!"
(He really has some weird ideas!)

"She's not firing on all cylinders today."
(The lady is not functioning at her best.)

"He's a sandwich short of a picnic."
(The man is lacking some intellect.)

"Sorry, I was just wool-gathering for a minute."
(I was having a little day dream)

"He's as tight as a crab's back pincers."
(This is one man who is mean with his money.)

"She has a face like a wet week-end!"
(This woman is looking awfully miserable.)

That is enough to be going on with, I think, as this person needs to give her tongue (and her keyboard) a rest and give everyone else a bit of peace.  When you examine the assortment of catch phrases above, you can see that they are a way of poking fun in a gentle fashion, either at yourself or others, with no desire to really hurt.   The closer the relationship, the more acceptable such phrases are, which is why so many families have their own favorites.  They also become a kind of verbal short-hand that reduces the need for lenghty explanations. So you can smile without the risk of hurting anyone's feelings; it is just a bit of fun, with a nice sprinkling of irony to add the sharpness of the wit.   

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