by Melissa Murphy

Created on: April 14, 2010

How much influence do childhood brother/sister relationships have on our adult life?  Much of our adult emotional and social influence is largely attributed to the sibling relationship. While parents teach us the proper way to perform socially, siblings teach us how to get along with friends and peers.  A parent’s responsibility consists of teaching children skills like table manners, respect for authority and acting appropriately in public.  A sibling, however, acts more like a mentor in the realm of socialization.

Is Sibling Influence Good or Bad?

Studies show that younger children that have a good relationship with their positively motivated siblings are more apt to experience a productive adulthood.  But what about those siblings who smoke, drink and engage in other delinquent behavior?  The younger child will likely pick up on that behavior and will be more inclined to at least experiment with the modeled behavior that they witness their siblings and their sibling’s friends doing.

What Can Parents Do?

Along with teaching good manners and appropriate societal behavior, one of the best things parents can and must do is to foster a healthy relationship between their children.  Parents who encourage cooperation and help their children learn to manage sibling arguments and other problems make life easier on themselves as well as aiding their children psychologically, emotionally and socially down the road.  A good relationship between siblings becomes an important factor when young children begin developing patterns of behavior and the older sibling will benefit from that quality relationship as well. If siblings have a close relationship built upon mutual respect, cooperation and love, both children are more likely to grow up and be productive adults.  Even if the older sibling is tempted to partake in rebellious behavior, they will tend to be more mindful of their influence on their younger sibling.  Because of their emotional attachment and positive shared experiences, the older sibling will be more likely to give much more thought to the consequences that their actions will have on their younger brother or sister.  In other words, they will think twice before making the decision to engage.  This internal conflict can coax the older sibling back into more acceptable behavior.

Although all children are unique, younger children tend to be influenced by their elder siblings to an extent.  Parents can give themselves and their children an advantage by fostering a healthy relationship environment and by knowing how to help their children develop a respectful, loving relationship with each other – a relationship that will, in part, shape the rest of their life.

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