by Samantha

Created on: February 25, 2007   Last Updated: May 02, 2007

We all know of women who we believe should never have had children for one reason or another and we wonder what they were thinking when they decided to have a baby. In many instances they probably weren't thinking, and there is the problem. Another consideration is they were thinking too much - about themselves. For instance, I saw an article today on the news about 14 year olds who thought having a baby was fashionable. Are girls with this mindset really considering anyone other than themselves? There are many questions to ask yourself and your spouse when thinking of having a baby.

1. Do you both want a baby? If the answer to this is no, stop right there! There needs to much more discussion. Having a baby is not like buying a new dress. It is a lifetime investment for both the mother and the father. Getting pregnant when your spouse does not want you to will create bitterness, anger, and distrust. It is manipulative and reveals a degree of selfishness.

2. Can you put another's needs completely before yours? Can you handle someone else being totally dependent on you for everything? Realize that you will no longer be able to 'get up and go' whenever you want, you will lose independence. A simple outing to a friends house will require a major amount of planning and packing. At times, especially when walking through the baby section at stores, I find myself longing for another child. The little clothes and accessories are so cute! Then I remember that right now, I can go shopping whenever I please. I can talk on the phone or be on the computer uninterrupted. At this stage in my life, I realize that I am just too selfish to have another baby.

3. Will you stay at home or work after the baby is born? What about finances? There are many other questions that fall under this point to consider also.

4. Is your home a home that you would want children growing up in? If there are things that you would want to change after having a baby (for instance smoking, cussing, partying), change them first, then get pregnant. There will be plenty of lifestyle changes during and after pregnancy, why add to them?

These are just a few of the things to consider when having a baby. Different situations have to consider different aspects, such as other children, general health, age, etc. The fact that you are reading articles about what to consider shows that you are probably on the right path and have what it takes to be a great parent, whenever you decide to have children.

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