by Stephanie L. Bryant

Created on: February 25, 2007   Last Updated: April 23, 2007

There are many destructive elements in relationships. In my eyes, the most destructive element is DISTRUST. Distrust can lead to so many different destructive patterns.

When you are in a relationship, trusting the other person is key. Trusting is the factor that gives you your individual freedom as well as the security you want and need to make the relationship satisfying for both you and your partner. If that trust goes out the window, you are left with a chain of events that will surely ruin any relationship.

When there is no trust you get into that bad little area called INSECURITY. "Where are you going?"... "When will you be home?"... "Who are you talking to?"... "Why did he/she look at you like that?"... "Who where you with tonight?"

Questions like that... that annoying rambling off of questions leads the other partner to a state of defense and irritation. If it keeps going on like that, it will get to the point were you can't stand to be around each other and, *POOF*, you have officially destroyed your relationship.

Sometimes your lack of trust is unfounded. When you don't trust someone who has not betrayed your trust in the smallest manner, then there is something wrong with you. You have to ask yourself, "why don't you trust this person?" Maybe your previous relationships have lead you to not trust anyone in that way. And if that is the case, you need to explain to your partner a head of time what is going on before things get so bad you can't reconcile them.

Of course a lot of times your distrust is completely valid due to your partners unexplainable actions. When your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife comes home at three in the morning smelling like smoke and perfume and says he was hanging with his boys, you know they are lying which brings on distrust. When you find the signs that your significant other is untrustworthy you know the relationship is gone. You might not want to admit it to yourself, but deep in your heart you know it is true.

Can there be love without trust? Yes there can. Sometimes though love just isn't enough. Why demean yourself by staying in a relationship that you know is doomed?

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