by Tamika Steward

Created on: April 13, 2010

Loss of trust, heartbreak, betrayal…..these are only a few of the problems associated with infidelity. The question is, should you forgive your cheating spouse? After careful reflection of this question the answer is simple. Yes, you should forgive your cheating spouse. This answer may surprise many; however, it is important to remember that we are all imperfect human beings. It is easy to forgive, but it is hard to forget.

During my first marriage, my husband cheated on me three times. We were young and I attributed it to his age. After the third incident I forgave him; however, I chose to dissolve the marriage. My five year old son approached me one day and explained to me that he saw his father go into the bedroom with a woman and lose the door behind him. My son knew his father’s behavior was inappropriate and as a result, he was an emotional wreck for a long time. If I chose to hate his father and never forgive him for his actions, how would that truly affect the relationship that they had with one another?

Infidelity not only affects the husband and wife, it also affects the children. Children sense things and they see things. Children also remember things. The last thing we want our children to see is anger and hatred, especially toward someone that we love.  With the situation with my son, it was very important that he saw me forgive his father.  Once he felt the forgiveness in my heart, my son had the ability to forgive his father as well. Although my son may never fully understand why I am no longer married to his father, he will understand the meaning of forgiveness.

Infidelity affects individuals in different ways. Some individuals will choose to carry that pain with them for a very long time.  Some individuals may even choose to ignore the signs. What good would that do to your emotional health? How will it affect future relationships? How will it affect the people around you? Forgive your spouse and grow from the negative situation. Just remember, forgiving your spouse does not mean you approve of his behavior and it doesn’t mean you have to stay in the marriage.  It means that you recognize your spouse as imperfect.  If you were on the other side and you made a mistake, you would also want that forgiveness from your spouse.

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